The Strangest Day Ever
by Kayla and Sara
Summary: nothing could prepare our favorite csi's for the strangest day in their careers...r&r plz & thnk u also hope u like...
1. Chapter 1

The Strangest Day Ever

A/N – Hello and welcome to the news, ok only joking welcome to The Strangest Day Ever coming to you from the great minds of me Kayla-Louise one half of Sara and Gabriella, Sara and our very good friend Trish.

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Grissom strolled into the break room and closed the door there was a few minutes before start of shift and he believed his team deserved a few minutes peace and quiet from the hustle and bustle of the everyday life of the Las Vegas Crime Lab.

"Hey Griss, you do remember Nick has the night off?" Sara asked

"How many times do you have to tell me Sara?" Grissom asked

"Well did you get the Memo I sent you? Or the note on your car?" Sara asked

"I have Memo's?" Grissom replied shocked "Are you stalking me Sara?"

"No I happen to be married" Sara replied "Umm Griss watch out Ecklie alert"

"Oh what does he want?" Grissom groaned "I swear that guy is out for my blood"

"Well did you get his Memo's?" Catherine asked

"No my secretary gets them, her name is ummm?" Grissom shuttered "My Secretary gets them"

"Do you read the Memo's Judy gives you?" Warrick asks "Judy is the name of your Secretary Griss"

"Thank you Warrick" Grissom replies "I do sometimes, it all depends how busy I am"

"How busy you are?" Catherine exclaims "this comes from the guy who sits on his butt all day staring at his Tarantula"

"I don't just sit around all day that hurt Catherine" Grissom said

"Oh suck it up your a big boy now" Catherine replied "ok is it me or is Ecklie taking forever?"

"Guys can I hear groaning?" Sara asked "someone needs to go check it out, hey not me ok fine"

Sara walked over to the break room door and opened it and fell over Conrad Ecklie's body.

"Is he dead?" Greg asked "please be dead"

"Nope still breathing and touching my ass" Sara groaned "help me up will you?"

"Mommy I don't want to go to school, the boys make me wear dresses and the girls make me wear make up" Ecklie groaned "don't want everyone to know my secret"

"Too late" Catherine groaned "might lose my lunch"

"Ok is anyone going to help me up? Ecklie is one feel away from being dead" Sara groaned

"I dare you to leave her there" Greg whispered to Warrick "Ecklie dead will make this world one Jerk less"

"Yea and we will be Greg less too" Sara snapped "just because I'm underneath this great buffoon doesn't mean I can't hear you're whispering, I think Mandy heard you?"

"She so did not" exclaimed Greg "You're just angry you have Ecklie on top of you and not Nick"

"Mandy did you or did you not hear Greg?" Sara shouted

"Yeah sure did should nickname him Foghorn Leghorn" Mandy shouted back

"I rest my case" Sara remarked "how if you're not going to help me I will help myself"

Sara pushed herself up from underneath Ecklie just as he grabbed hold of her chest and squeezed her chest and groaned.

"He so did not" Greg exclaimed in a high pitched voice sounded more like a girl than anything else "Come on Warrick Sara needs us more than ever"

Warrick and Greg ran over to Ecklie and tried to roll him off Sara; Sara screamed and with her free hand hit both Warrick and Greg across the back of the head.

"HEY THEY ARE ATTACHED" Sara screamed "Idiots"

"GUYS" Catherine shouted "let a women handle it"

Catherine knelt down towards Ecklie here his ear and whispered into making sure she could make a quick escape.

"Conrad darling your too hold to be breast fed, plus I'm your mommy" Catherine whispered "guys help Sara now, and your dreaming right now and in front of everyone at the lab"

Ecklie started to wake up and Greg, Sara, Catherine and Warrick slowly backed off into the break room and closed the door and sat down.

"Where did you all go to?" Grissom asked "I've been waiting for ages"

"Earth to Gilbert. R. Grissom" Catherine said "we were stood outside the break room door listening to Ecklie tell us his darkest secret and feel up Sara"

"HE DID WHAT?" Grissom shouted "and what did you do Sara?"

"What could I do? I lay there and took it with a pinch of salt" Sara replied

"You hussy" Grissom exclaimed "Where is Nick?"

"For the love of duck, or Tofu in Sara's case" Greg exclaimed "he has the night off"

"Ok I was just asking" Grissom replied "now who is for assignments?"

"We are" the whole team replied

"Ok no need to shout I was deaf once but not now" Grissom said "it was about four years ago if I remember correctly"

"Hold him down while I kill him" Sara groaned "great time to be having a mental block"

"Griss assignments buddy" Warrick said "sometime today would be good"

"Oh yes, who are you?" Grissom asked

"Warrick Brown one of your Level Three CSI's" Warrick explained "Jesus Grissom what's wrong with you?"

"I'm ok" Grissom replied "now Sara, Cath you have a DB in Henderson Brass will meet you there, Warrick you and Greg have a DB in Summerlin"

"Griss what about you?" Sara asked "apart from a mental health check and maybe some sleep"

"This comes from the women who can do triple shifts and still go home to four kids and entertain them" Greg rambled "Jesus I struggle with just the one shift"

"Yea and you still do a half assed job" Warrick complained "why am I with Greg, no offense man"

"None taken" Greg replied "hey was that an insult?"

"My team is a complete nut job" Grissom groaned "now go my little urchins, fly fly away"

Grissom skipped out of the break room and into his office, Sara and Catherine looked at each other and walked out of the room leaving a miserable Warrick and a shocked Greg.

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On the way to the crime scene Sara had a sudden urge for a coffee as Catherine had an urge for a cream cake; bang goes her diet she thought. Pulling into a Starbuck's Catherine got out of the passenger side and went into the shop. Five minutes later laden with Coffee and Cake Catherine walked back up to the Denali and Sara started back on her way to the crime scene.

"So what is it like living with Nick, Mackenzie, Matilda, Riley and Jason?" Catherine asked

"A world wind of chaos and utter madness" Sara replied "thanks for the coffee I owe you"

"No problem, I owe you for not telling Warrick about my little cake fetish" Catherine replied

"Well secrets are best kept safe with me, Greg on the other hand" Sara remarked "remember when I was pregnant with Mackenzie he blurted it out and Nick was in total shock"

"Yea wouldn't you be when we were at a fundraiser and you were meant to be in the talent show" Catherine reminded Sara "I thought Nick was going to pass out?"

"He did fell face first into a pile of horse muck" Sara giggled "oh dear Brass doesn't look too happy"

"I get the kits you go see Mr Happy over there" Catherine said pushing Sara in the direction of Brass

"Thanks Cath" Sara groaned "You owe me twice now"

"Why?" Catherine asked "what you got on me Stokes?"

"One word Cake" Sara smiled "that one word would get you in trouble with your boyfriend my dear friend"

"You're evil Stokes, pure evil" Catherine groaned

"Sara Stokes one, Catherine Willows zero" Sara said skipping towards Brass "Hi Jim what's up?"

"Let me think my colestrol, the sky" Jim replied "what are you on?"

"Earth" Sara replied "so what's the deal old chum"

"Less of the old, one person dead and well your a CSI you figure it out" Jim remarked

Jim walked back towards his police cruiser and stood beside it and watched Sara skip towards the crime scene and Catherine struggle with the two kits.

"Hey Stokes am I alone here?" Catherine shouted "a little help"

"Oh sorry Cath" Sara replied giggling "I forgot you were here"

"Charming, one word Sara Coffee" Catherine remarked

"You wouldn't?" Sara asked "please don't"

"Well, well Stokes let me think the score is now Stokes one Willows one" Catherine said handing Sara her kit and walking into the building

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Meanwhile at Warrick and Greg's crime scene, Greg was processing the living room while Warrick was in the kitchen.

"So Fred how have you been recently?" Greg asked 'Fred'

"Greg who are you talking too?" Warrick asked from the kitchen "you are going as crazy as Grissom"

"Fred is my life long buddy, he goes wherever I go" Greg explained

"You man need therapy" Warrick said "how is it going in here"

"FRED" Greg screamed "you killed him, you murderer"

"Wow now I know you need therapy, who the heck is Fred?" Warrick asked

"Fred was my imaginary friend and you stood on him and killed him" Greg moaned

"Ok your a little old to be having imaginary friends Greggo" Warrick remarked "please tell me you still don't have your baby blanket?"

"Uhh no" Greg replied

"Oh my god wait till I tell the rest of the guy, Greg still has his baby blanket" Warrick roared with laughter

"Two words Warrick, thumb sucker" Greg said grinning

"How did you know about that?" Warrick groaned "I only do that when I fall to sleep and well I fell to sleep yesterday, oh god"

"I saw you on the sofa thumb in mouth, dribble and all" Greg said "so my dear friend if we both tell each others secrets we will be the mockery of the whole lab"

"Ok fine you win this round Sanders" Warrick groaned

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Catherine and Sara had processed the whole house and were headed outside and around the front of the house when they saw a blur of a Starbucks Coffee cup and a Pink iced Doughnut streaking by.

"What the hell was that? " Catherine asked

"I don't know but it has my Coffee" Sara replied "wait it has my coffee, hey get back here"

"Yea and my pink Doughnut" Catherine shouted "oh my god my Doughnut and your Coffee are on the end of a naked man"

"Ewww which end?" Sara asked stopping dead in her tracks

"In his hands Sara" Catherine remarked "don't stop we need to stop him"

"Ok I'm going but dear god I'll need a shower after this" Sara groaned "hey stop in the name of the law, police halt"

"How long have you wanted to say that?" Catherine asked

"All my life, ouch that's got to hurt" Sara exclaimed "that's going to leave a scar"

"Yea hot Coffee on your private parts will do that" Catherine replied

"Help me" groaned the naked man "please help it hurts"

"Yea it hurts to look at it too" Sara remarked

"Sara" Catherine exclaimed "now sir you need to come I mean uhh walk with us this way"

"Have you got anything to cover me with?" asked the naked man

"How about this leaf?" Sara said

Catherine walked away shaking her head helping naked leaf guy back towards Jim who almost swallowed his gum Sara walking as if the guy was infested and Catherine as white as a sheet.

"Catherine who do you have here?" Jim asked "Sara you ok?"

"Yea fine, I would say I'll be in the truck but his naked ass has been all over it" Sara said groaning "good luck Jim getting him back to the station"

"WHAT?" Jim yelled "oh no he's not going in my cruiser, take him in yours"

"No way, it's my truck and it needs cleaning now anyway and his hairy ass is going no where near it again" Catherine groaned

"Fine" Jim groaned "has anyone got a shirt or pair of trousers to give to umm your name?"

"Clive sir" Clive answered

"Uhh Clive" Jim shouted "nobody ahh a piece of cardboard, you sit on it and don't get any ideas"

"I wont you're not my type" Clive replied "old bald and angry man not for me, give me a tall handsome man and I'll be happy"

"Got the right man for you" Jim replies "if you promise to behave yourself I'll give you the man of your dreams"

"Really?" Clive squealed running at Jim and hugging him the leaf moving "oh sorry man"

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU?" Jim screamed "just get in the car and don't do anything stupid"

Jim sat in silence driving back to the station, meanwhile Sara and Catherine were trying to get back into the Denali without success.

"This is no use" Sara groaned "I'm not putting my butt on that seat when hairy leafy naked guy was in here"

"Take your top off" Catherine said

"Excuse me?" Sara asked "What did you say?"

"I said take your top off" Catherine said pulling off her vest and removing her top "What you waiting for? Some help"

"No" Sara replied "Just when everyone is watching, it's just oh the hell with it"

"Jesus Sara they are huge" Catherine exclaimed

"Yea thanks Cath, four kids later this is what it does to you" Sara replied "now can we go?"

Catherine nodded her head and asked if they could stop off at Starbucks and get Coffee and more cakes Sara agreed and drove away from their crime scene and the sane environment of the crime lab. Sara pulled into the Starbucks Coffee house car park and proceeded to get out of the car until Catherine stopped her.

"Sara no shirt" Catherine remarked "no shirt, no Coffee"

"But I want Coffee" Sara whined "and I want it now, I don't care if they own of Las Vegas sees my chest I want Coffee"

"Ok, fine I'm coming with you" Catherine said following Sara inside

"Ok what can I get you?" the young clerk asked "umm you do realise your shirtless?"

"Yes I'll have a tall coffee, what do you want Cath?" Sara asked ignoring everyone's stares

"I'll have a tall coffee and a box of your cookies please" Catherine replied smiling

After getting their Coffee and Cookies both girls left Starbucks, not without Catherine blowing a kiss at the young clerk who fell to the fall passed out, he thought his luck was in.

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Eventually pulling back into the lab car park, Catherine and Sara collected their evidence and walked into the lab. As soon as Sara stepped into the lab she started dancing on the stop and groaning.

"What is wrong with you?" Catherine asks

"I really need the loo, where the hell are the bathrooms in this place?" Sara replied

"You mean to tell me you work in this building and don't know where the bathroom is?" Catherine asked again

"Look I don't need the lecture just the direction of the nearest bathroom" Sara groaned "god it hurts"

"My eyes" Ecklie screamed "my eyes they are leaking"

"What?" Catherine asked "Sara the bathroom is down the corridor and on your left"

"I recognise those" Ecklie shouted pointing at Sara's chest "don't recognise yours though, my eyes are leaking"

"No they are not leaking" Catherine sighed "you happen to be crying"

"Oh thanks Willows" Ecklie said

Catherine walked away from Ecklie and into the locker room to find Greg in just his boxers and singing into the cleaners mop.

"Uhh Greg what the heck are you doing?" Catherine asked "and for god sake put some clothes on"

"I'm singing to Elvis" Greg replied "and your a little underdressed yourself Willows"

"Yes I know but you're more undressed than I am" Catherine explained "now if Ecklie sees you"

"He did he started to cry" Greg replied "do you know where he went?"

"He ran into me and Sara and well lets just say he remembers feeling Sara's chest" Catherine remarked "thankfully Sara was half way down the corridor when he said it"

"Where was she going in such a hurry?" Greg asked

"Bathroom Greggo, now get some clothes on" Catherine said "for all our sanity"

"Anything for you my dear lady" Greg said bowing and standing up when the locker room door opened.

"Well Greggy boy didn't realise you loved that mop so much" Sara said smiling "maybe we could set you up on a date?"

"Be carefully he may get splinters" Catherine added "now put some clothes on and we will share our cookies with you"

Both Sara and Catherine put a new shirt on and went to sit in the break room to hear music coming from the Morgue, classical music in fact. Wanting to know why Doc Robbins would be playing music so loud the girls walked towards the Morgue and opened the door to find both Grissom and Doc Robbins dancing.

"Ok now I've seen it all" Sara groaned "GUYS!!"

"Oh Sara, Catherine please join us" Doc Robbins pleaded

"No we are fine, but do enjoy" Catherine replied pulling a giggling Sara out of the Morgue and back down the corridor to the break room, when they heard Hodges scream and Greg laugh.

"Now what" Catherine groaned "could this day get any weirder?"

"Don't know we still have plenty of it left" Sara replied "What on earth?"

"Greg came running into my lab butt naked and then ran back out again" sobbed Hodges

"GREG!!" Catherine screamed "WHAT DID WE TELL YOU?"

"Hey Cath still got plenty of leaves left" Sara said smiling "how about we pin Greg down and attack him with the leaves and Hodges can pin him down"

"What? Why me" Hodges sniffed

"Because Greg ran into your lab butt naked and scared you" Sara said "plus he deserves it"

"YEAH AND HE GETS NO COOKIES" Catherine shouted "what? I was just letting him know"

Hodges, Sara and Catherine went in search of Greg to teach him a lesson, while Greg was following them and planning an attack of his own.

"Where could he be?" Sara asked "The lab's not that big"

"Big enough" Catherine mumbled "look can we just go back to the break room and let Hodges back to his lab?"

"Yea maybe we should go back" Hodges mumbled "I'm going back"

"SCARDY CAT" Sara shouted after Hodges "Cath you still with me? Hello Cath? Cath?"

"Sara...Sara" whispered Greg in the shadows "I'm coming to get you Sara...Sara"

"What? Who the heck is that? Cath?" Sara said "Hello? Ok where the hell am I?"

"You're in the deepest depths of the lab" Greg whispered "where you enter but never leave Sara"

"Ok who is the Jerk because this isn't funny" Sara said "Hello?"

"No one can hear you Sara...Sara" Greg whispered "now it's just you me and the ghosts Sara"

"Ok Jerk if I find you, I'm going to tear you a new...ahh" Sara screamed "who did that?"

"It's me Greg" Greg whispered "come find me Sara"

"When I catch you Greg I'll kill you and make it out to be an accident and when they do find you will be so disfigured you will be a John Doe" Sara snarled

"I'm scared Sara" Greg said "Ouch god damn it"

"Hurt yourself Greggo?" Sara asked "good now pray for mercy"

"OK I'm sorry Sara for scaring you, I'm sorry for getting you drunk last year and well I'm sorry for everything that has happened in my life so far" Greg pleaded

"Good boy now get up and walk like a man even if you hurt your ass" Sara said pulling Greg to his feet "and if you ever do something like that again you will lose your right to be a man, get it?"

"Yea I sure do" Greg replied "you got anything to stop the pain?"

"Yea me to hit you across the back of the head" Sara replied

"How will that help?" Greg asked

"I'll show you" Sara said hitting Greg on the head and walking away

"Hey that hurt" Greg groaned

"See I rest my case" Sara said smiling triumphantly

Greg and Sara arrived back at the break room to find Catherine handing out Cookies and Grissom making Coffee, it was after all almost the end of shift what else could possibly go wrong?

Tbc


	2. Chapter 2

The Strangest Day Ever Chapter 2

When Sara came home from work, she found her five year old Matilda drawing on her dads face.

"Tilly what are you doing sweetheart?" Sara asked her daughter.

"I'm drawing on daddy's face, I also painted daddy's nails too mommy." Matilda said excitedly.

"I see that, I also see daddy played dress up again," Sara said mostly to herself than her daughter.

"Daddy played dress up and had a tea party with me and Riley." Matilda told her mom as she went to finish painting her dads face.

"Matilda, where's your brother and sister's?" Sara asked

"Riley, and Jason are asleep upstairs, and Mackenzie's upstairs I think." Matilda told her mom.

"Tilly, sweetheart, I want you to stop drawing on daddy's face, and wash your hands, while I get daddy to wake up." Sara told her daughter picking up the mess.

Sara watched her daughter run upstairs, then she turned to her sleeping husband and laughed silently to herself, and started shaking her husband to wake up. Five minutes later Sara finally got Nick up and tried telling him that he had paint all over his face.

"Nick, I think you should go hop in the shower and get that paint off your face." Sara told her husband.

"Sara I will be fine there is no paint on my face." Nick told his wife as he went upstairs to go check on the kids.

A few minutes later Sara heard two of her kids come running down the stairs calling for her.

"Mommy, mommy," Matilda and Riley said coming down the stairs.

"Yes, my two munchkins," Sara answered the two girls.

"Will you play pirates with us? Daddy said you would." Matilda asked her mom.

"He did, did he? Well go tell daddy that I said he's playing to." Sara told the girls, and watched them run upstairs.

Meanwhile upstairs, Matilda, and Riley ran up to their dad, and relayed the message their mom told them to tell their dad.

"Daddy, mommy said that you have to play too," Matilda told her dad.

"Go tell mommy that I'll meet her in the playroom then in about 5 minutes." Nick told his daughters while getting Jason out of his bed, and checking on Mackenzie.

A few minutes later he went to the playroom like he promised to meet his wife and his kids. He saw them coming into the room and the girls started talking bout playing pirates, and how their parents have to dress up like pirates.

"Daddy, don't forget your eye patch, you have to have that," Matilda told her dad as she handed him the eye patch, and gave her mom one to.

Riley looked at both her parents and told them how funny the looked, "Mommy, an' daddy wook funny." Then she started to laugh, and went to go get Mackenzie, "Me get Kenze," Riley said before leaving the room.

Both parents can here Riley running down the hall yelling for Mackenzie.

About a half hour later, they heard the doorbell ring, and Mackenzie told them she would get it so they wouldn't have to. Down stairs in the foyer room, Mackenzie opens the door and sees Catherine, Grissom, and Lindsay holding Lewis.

"Hi Aunt Catherine, and Uncle Gil, hi Lindsay, and Lewis," Mackenzie said as she let them in the house.

"Hey Kenze, what ya been up to? Is your mom and dad home?" Catherine asked her 'niece'.

"Yup their home, their upstairs in the playroom playing pirates and their all dressed up, it's really funny." Mackenzie told them as she led them upstairs.

"Man I got to see this," Lindsay said as the reached the top of the stairs and went to the play room.

When they reached the playroom Mackenzie turned to her 'aunt', 'uncle', and her 'cousins' she told them to be quiet and led them into the playroom and they all watched their two co-workers play with their kids with the whole pirates outfit going on.

Five year old Lewis looked at his 'aunt' and 'uncle' and started laughing, then said, "Uncle Nick and Aunt Sara looks funny."

"Yup, they sure do," Lindsay agreed with her little brother.

Nick and Sara looked over in the door way and saw their co-worker and their boss standing in the door way with their kids, and felt completely embarrassed.

Riley looked at Lewis and told him to come play with them, and so he did while dragging his dad with him to play, Grissom tried protesting against the little boy but then decided not to upset his son.

"Ok that's something you don't see everyday" Catherine remarked "got to get a photo of this"

"Mom do you have a camera with you?" Lindsay whispered

"I sure do" Catherine replied "just think bribery Linds for when you want to stay out at friends"

"I like your thinking mom" Lindsay replied giggling "dad looks funny"

"Ok that's something you don't see everyday" Catherine remarked "got to get a photo of this"

"Mom do you have a camera with you?" Lindsay whispered

"I sure do" Catherine replied "just think bribery Linds for when you want to stay out at friends"

"I like your thinking mom" Lindsay replied giggling "dad looks funny"

"Yea he will never live this down I'm going to show your Uncle Jim and Warrick and maybe even Ecklie"

"What and you watch Ecklie cry again?" Lindsay remarked "so would have loved to see that"

"Well I will give you $100 if you can get Ecklie to cry again" Catherine said "this is no joke I really mean it Linds"

"Your evil Mommy, but I'll take you up on that offer" Lindsay replied

Lindsay and Catherine walked back down the stairs and into the kitchen to make themselves a drink, Lindsay looked at her mom and said.

"Was it me or did Uncle Nick have paint and painted toe nails?" Lindsay asked

"Yea I think he did, well I'm not telling him" Catherine replied

"Ahoy Ship mates" Sara said walking into the kitchen "make yourselves at home"

"We did, did you just say Ahoy Ship mates?" Catherine asks

"Yea sorry still in the Pirate mode" Sara replies "did you see Nick's face?"

"Yea we sure did, what's the deal with that?" Lindsay asks

"Tilly was decorating Nick's face when I got home" Sara said "I tried warning him but he didn't take any notice"

"Yea we gathered" Lindsay remarked

"Yea well if you excuse me my ship waits for me" Sara said walking back out the kitchen and upstairs

Lindsay and Catherine stared at each other and continued to drink their tea and coffee and settled down in front of the TV waiting for Gil and Lewis to finish playing.

Tbc.


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